Want Bright Kids? Be a Brilliant Parent!

 

Norelis Alvarez León
Clinical Psychologist

Each generation of parents has had its own characteristics, many of our grandparents grew up in plowing fields or caring for animals that were fed many families at the time, parents were strict with their children and maybe find them somewhat aggregates in the affective.

Then came our fathers, the rules learned were taught to obey by hook or by crook, one look was enough just to know what to do and what not, when to speak, when to be quiet and how far away from the scene.

Upon receipt of the witness, many of today's parents have worked for not wanting to repeat a history of abuse, rules, and prohibitions, thus, many studies suggest that the major problem of this generation of parents is the total absence of limits, against an excess of toys, clothes, trips, televisions, and video games ... I'm sure that in all cases, good intentions, only to create a world so unnatural for children who have committed their emotional development, creativity, capacity to take risks and make mistakes, playing ball and running, dreaming, and marvel at life. Forgot the art of talking about themselves!

Not enough time to have good intentions, it takes a generation of parents committed to acquire tools and habits that transform and enrich children and young people in this world today. "Children need parents not impressive, but human beings who speak their language and able to penetrate his heart" (Augusto Cury).

For several years, Dr. Augusto Cury has been developing in Brazil, thorough research on the intelligence multifocal and from them, we want to share the 7 habits of parents brilliant:

1- Good parents give gifts, bright parents give themselves

Any good parent takes to please, within their abilities the wishes of their children, buy them gifts for Christmas, birthdays and other dates. Parents give something incomparably more brilliant valuable: His own being, the open book of his life and history, including the tears, the dreams made and also not met, leaving them to know the central place they occupy in this book their names are not footnotes or in a single chapter, but that cross and mark pattern in history. Talking about themselves is, in turn, educate our children's emotionality. Once a mother crying desperately asked me but what I have to do? How I can learn to be a mother? And simply said, you know kiss? You know to embrace? You know say I love you? ... Remember, no one psychologist technique will work if love does not work.

2- Good parents nourish the body, bright parents nurture personality

Every good parent is constantly aware that their children are kept well fed. Parents brilliant emotion and strengthen critical thinking, know that their children will be exposed to a society full of sick and stress that a society that can even see problems where none exists, the inferiority complex about their bodies and many of our young people live it and suffer in silence. A child was brought for consultation because although it has been very "shy" while at the school, one day he severely beat a classmate. In the midst of the conversation, the boy burst into tears, to say he was tired after that classmate made fun of him for having big ears. Transmit power and security to their children, not fists, but in the soul. Brilliant parents are not heroes but human beings aware of the limits of their own strengths.

3- Good parents correct errors, bright parents teach to think

Many parents in their quest for perfection (or your fear of failure as parents) are devoted to criticizing their children and judge the person rather than the behaviors, thus Children stored all these adjectives and reach adolescence, time to define their own identity, come to light all those behaviors and emotions expressed the belief that indeed they are the worst. Parents educate bright for reflection and for the creation of new attitudes. "Good parents tell their children:" You're wrong. " Bright Parents say: How about your behavior? "

4- Successful parents prepare their children for the applause

Bright parents prepare their children for failure: it is very good to encourage our children to success, but we can not forget to tell them not always achieve what they intend and that does not mean failure, but learn less rewarding experience, it is important to train them to take risks, not tried to preserve all your legs fall because it will not be strengthened for the journey of life and will have to make them persevere in their goals and sensitive who can discover the beauty hidden in small flowers and perhaps also in the dried leaves of the road. Remember, if you teach your children today to overcome the failure, one day to teach them life and perhaps no longer as close as you're getting up in the fall.

5- Good parents talk, bright parents dialogue as friends

- "Did you talk to him? - Yes! - And what did he say? "Well, really nothing, I just heard" ... When we talked transmit information about the world around us, our views, our positions on things. When discussion will talk about the world we are, about what lives inside us, we share our experiences and open our hearts to another. It is urgent that parents and children into the habit of sitting down to talk, giving them the freedom to talk about themselves, their concerns and difficulties. Did you tell your children your most important dreams, your greatest joys, your deepest disappointments? Do not ask! Start by talking to you.

6- Parents give good information, bright parents have stories

Always impressed me home with great libraries, perhaps because I love reading, but our children need more than a wealth of information, they need their parents to know to tell stories. Do not be afraid to look ridiculous by inventing stories. You can teach a lot of speaking little and your children will always hear new and not in the mood of weariness that produces "the same sermon as usual." Technical change, no need to shout or attack, do not respond aggressively Stop! It tells a story about what you teach.

7- Good parents provide opportunities, bright parents never give up

This habit transcends the limits of patience and tolerance, may your children sometimes you disappointed, are not what you expect (nor have to be), a brilliant father is convinced that his son is a great human being on the road to learning, they should ensure that neither look even own child, adolescent or young person gets to see. I have spent many years listening to the heart of many teens who feel misunderstood or unserviceable, the face lights up and life will change when they discover they actually have potential, they can give more, be different and discover a treasure that is within who had managed to see with their own eyes. This is truly transforming.

Parenting is not bright perfect, but they are human beings in contact with themselves, knowing their own weaknesses and flaws, taking into their hands the power to transform themselves, able to give their children a light shine upon them during all the way and the greatest force that has the human being's core strength: the ability to love and be loved.